Another resolution (not just for Lent)...

I've recently experienced a few occasions (that being far too many) where people have been out-right cruel. How is one to respond when in the midst of a group of people who are being cruel to another (not in actions, but in words)? Sadly, I simply hung my head and didn't say a word. I felt like I should have done something... should have said something.

On being Courteous.

Hilaire Belloc says Of Courtesy…
it is much less than Courage of Heart or Holiness,
Yet in His walks it seems
That the Grace of God is found in Courtesy…

Courtesy, among other things is the refinement of conduct in the small matters of daily life. Courtesy is not necessarily a “Christian Virtue”. One need not be infused with the Grace of God to be courteous. However, when formed by explicit Faith and Charity, The Grace of God is in Courtesy.

Courtesy is not strictly distinct from the other virtues, but rather a quality to be found in them all. It has something to do with reverence and humility. It is shaped by charity, the form of all the virtues, into the quality of mercy. Courtesy is the beauty of a brave and generous life.

Courtesy is, first of all, reverence for one’s fellow man. It is a habit of seeing made possible by faith and charity, an eye which sees in every man, great or small, the shining image of the Trinity. The courteous person has an attitude of “worship” toward his fellows: by small deeds of kindness, he acknowledges their worth, their dignity, as human persons.

Secondly, courtesy is closely tied to humility. According to G.K. Chesterton, courtesy is “the wedding of humility with dignity.” One example he uses is that of a prince who waited like a servant on a man who was his own prisoner. There is something in courtesy that deserves to be called self-emptying – the noble refusal of self-worship. The proud or self-centered person may be polite, but he can never be courteous, because he refuses to serve.

The courteous person is not necessarily a Saint. However, they do strive to be saintly. They can be deceived by the world, racked with concupiscence, and tempted by evil. However, courtesy is measured by the wholeheartedness of the struggle. If the courteous Christian be not in God’s grace, he prays God to put him there.

Finally, courtesy has beauty. It is an attribute of the whole person… at once a graceful bodily gesture (as in “curtsy”) and a gracious attitude of the mind. St. Thomas Aquinas said that the spiritually beautiful and the morally right were really identical, because when a man is righteous, the splendor of reason shines through his actions. Therefore the courteous person is beautiful and sheds beauty on those to whom he shows courtesy. To show courtesy to a unkind man is to show him the loveliness God gave him in his nature and the even greater loveliness he could have if only he allowed God’s grace to change him.

And (of course) according to Dante… courtesy does not die at death. The living man shows himself courteous toward the souls of the departed by praying for them, so that they may purge their guilt. And in Paradise, there is a sweet lack of envy in the saints… Each of the blessed accepts his own degree of glory and rejoices, without jealousy, in the merits of his fellows. This heavenly magnanimity is courtesy. According to Dante’s report, Bonaventure the Franciscan is so moved by the courtesy with which Thomas the Dominican praises St. Francis that he is moved in praise of God all the more. (See Paradiso, canto XII)